Sometimes, no matter how much you do or how hard you try, your mind seems to focus on what went wrong. You might replay conversations, dwell on mistakes, or tell yourself you “should have done better” - even when you would never speak to someone else that way.

When you’ve been through difficult or stressful experiences, being hard on yourself can sometimes become a way of trying to avoid getting things wrong or being hurt again. Over time, that critical voice can become so familiar that you may not even notice how harsh it is.

Beginning to notice that voice - and wondering whether there might be another way of looking at things - can help you become a little kinder and fairer towards yourself. Counselling can also help you understand where these patterns may have come from and gradually develop a different relationship with yourself.

Healing isn’t about pretending everything you do is perfect. It’s about learning to treat yourself with some of the same patience and understanding you would offer someone you care about - and gradually recognising that you don’t have to be perfect to be good enough.